In A Flash

As I rocked Nate to a peaceful slumber last night, I gazed between the slats of the blinds on the adjacent window. Flashes of lightening illuminated the grey night sky. I listened to the thunder roll as the rain pounded hard against the pane, creating an echo within the nursery walls.

It was then I was reminded of two profanely tragic tales I've come across this week. The stories of Maddie and Thalon have touched me profoundly. Two sweet children gone from earth much too soon.

I read each blog, page after page from the beginning, smiling as I encountered the chronicles of their adventures and milestones. I felt waves of emotion. A bizarre, cosmic connection, as if I were a fly on the wall watching them grow all this time. Then I reached the final posts. And my heart skipped a beat. The journals that celebrated the spirit of these two precious babies were transformed into memoirs of lives cut painfully short.

These weren't just sad works of fiction. These were people's lives. Family units. This was real.

I wept in confusion and dysphoria. A mother should never have to lose her child. And even though I am confronted with this seemingly everyday in the ALI community, I still don't understand how this could happen. Why it happens. I prayed for the families - that peace would somehow find them and God would grant them strength. That He would carry them through this.

At any moment, our lives could change. In a flash. As quickly as the storm that raged outside. In an instant, our cherished ones could be jettisoned from our lives. We know this but for some reason, it always takes something catastrophic to drive the message home.

If this were any other night, I would have laid Nate in his crib and said a silent prayer for him to sleep through the night and not wake. Please let me get some consistent sleep, I'd beg. But last night, I prayed for the opposite. Please let my son wake up. Let me hear his cry to know that he is still with me. When he woke at 330am for the second time, I did something I hadn't done in weeks. I took him back to bed with me. I just wanted to feel his warm body next to mine.

I was lucky enough to wake in the morning to the smiling face that makes my world complete. And I knew somewhere out there, there are those who are grieving and would give anything to share that feeling once again.

Many blessings to all of you out there. Give your little ones and/or loved ones some extra hugs and kisses today.