Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Witch Hunt

It's strange to say aloud but I haven't had a period since October 30, 2007.

That's right. Two thousand SEVEN. SEVENTEEN months ago. Almost EIGHT AND A HALF months postpartum and the witch is still M.I.A.

Before I allow you to get ahead of yourselves, I am not - I repeat - NOT pregnant. To achieve pregnancy, there are several prerequisites. Primarily ovulation and intercourse. And since these key players are noticeably absent from the marquee, chances are slim that anything short of immaculate conception or post-hysterectomy amnesia would account for her hiatus. So please refrain from testing chants and sweep away any babydust that may have crept away from the magical fairyland. I can only attribute this respite to a certain little person attached to my boob every 2-3 hours.

Don't get me wrong. Absence has not made my heart grow fonder. It's been nice to have this extended vacation from her hijinks. I can wear white blazenly. No mental inventory of pads or tampons. No leaks or gushes to make me squirm. Or changing bedsheets in the morning due to embarrasing accidents. No fumbling through my medicine cabinet for Midol. There have been some stellar advantages to our much-needed break.

As much as I'd like to say good riddance forever, I am a bit codependent on my Auntie. I need her to reappear eventually if I'm ever going to give Nate a sibling. No, we're not TTC #2 right away. Right now, it's just a prospect on the horizon. We are in no rush whatsoever, although the baby bug has nipped at me now and again. I mean, our firstborn is nowhere close to STTN and I'd have to be batshit crazy to double up when I'm already struggling. I could see us now - sharing our bed with a toddler and a newborn. We'd need to trade up our Queen for a California King just to get through the night. It's exhausting just to think about it. Besides, I'd like to give Nate a bit more time as our one and only. Spoil him as much as possible before he needs to share his belongings, personal space and parental attention.

And truth be told, I also question how my cycles will behave once she returns. Will I remain oligoovulatory or could childbirth have rebooted my system? If curiosity killed the cat, I'll be one crispy kitty.

I wonder when she'll arrive. I'm sure it will be at some inopportune moment. Like when I'm wearing my favorite panties. And I'm sure as soon as she turns up, I'll be wishing her farewell again.

Aunt Flo...can't live with her. Can't live without her.

6 comments:

Mommy Shoes said...

I would gladly share with you since I am now on my third pp period right now. And that's with a four-month old. Ugh. Why is menstruation never cooperative? It comes when you don't want it and never when it should?

Elise said...

I am envious...I exclusively breastfeed my 4 month old, yet AF reared her ugly head 6 weeks post-partum. For some reason, my body thought it was ready to get pregnant again despite having endured childbirth a mere month and a half ago. My mind thought that was hilarious!!!

sacredandscarred said...

I'm coming up to 8 1/2 months PP and still no sign of AF, which is great! Mind you I bled for 8 weeks following my c/s so I think I've done my bit for the next little while.

Holly Crosley said...

Lucky lady. I got my first Post Partum AF after only 4 months and I breastfed for 13 months! I did not ovulate however, until 8 months PP and I did have wacky cycles for awhile but I am starting to resume more normal schedules now. The witch will return and it will be wierd for awhile, but an odd comfort at the same time knowing your body is getting back to "normal".

Katie said...

I think it's because Nate is still breastfeeding so much (a good thing). . . once Will started eating three full meals a day, I felt the familiar twinges of ovulation, and sure enough, AF was back two weeks after that.

Also, I wanted to tell you that Gerber has new "spoon," that looks more like a long handled pacifier. We use it to let Will "feed" himself. I find that if I let him hold his own spoon while I also tandem feed him with another spoon, that seems to work wonders. Just a thought. I found this wonder-spoon at Tar.get.

Melissa said...

Enjoy the lack of cramps! My first AF arrived at 14 weeks postpartum despite me pumping exclusively. And she keeps coming back, albeit irregularly (certainly no 28-day cycles here).

Once Nate starts sleeping through the night (i.e. not attached to your boob 24/7) your cycles will return quickly. But for now, enjoy the white pants and lack of tampon-shopping. :)