Monday, May 11, 2009

M Day Revamped

So, most of us know yesterday as M_ _ _ _ _' s Day. You can fill in the blanks here. A day of appreciation and tribute to the women who have birthed and raised children. Flowers. Candy. Cards. Sappy, sentimental commercials. Reminders plastered on every street corner. Reminders to forget a gift at your own peril. Reminders to some of what they long to have - long to be - but haven't attained.

If infertility has taught me anything, it is just how painful this holiday can be. As if the rest of society hadn't excluded us due to our childless status, there was now a special day in history each year during which we were extra specially antagonized.

Please understand me. I'm not suggesting that mothers shouldn't be recognized for all they do. Not at all. I am one of the fortunate ones that understands how our efforts - no matter how tiny or large - are often overlooked or expected. I just happen to believe it should be more of a softly spoken year-round thing as opposed to one obnoxiously in-your-face event a year. Perhaps I'm low-key like that. I would personally rather have someone do something thoughtful for me out of the blue than because a holiday obligates them with the showering of gifts.

And while this year is the first year that I could officially celebrate the day for myself, I still found myself waking yesterday morning with a tear in my eye. For those of us who still haven't reached the Holy Grail of IF. As my husband rolled over and said "Happy M_ _ _ _ _'s Day", my mind flashed back to the days when I was the outsider. When I watched everyone else accept their handmade gifts with the glimmer of unconditional love in their eye and kiss their squealing, rosy-cheeked children.

I longed to be a part of this elite club for so long and now that I had been inducted, it honestly just felt like any other day. Complete with nosebleed (this makes #3 this week), vomit and poop. I'm grateful every single day for my blessings so it wasn't the magical epiphany I thought it'd be.

I did receive some lovely flowers from Nate (can you believe that at a mere 9.5 months old, he can already log into FTD.com and place an order? The eloquency of his notecard was easily on a 7th grade level.) and DH cooked me breakfast. We visited the in-laws and had dinner while the cousins played. But my mind wandered, as it tends to do. When people look at me, they see me and DH and now Nate. They have no idea of the scars and wounds I carry or the cross I bear from IF. The two angels I've lost, whose only tangible memories reside in the gemstone bracelet that gingerly caressed my wrist throughout the day.
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The lovely, talented Liv came up with the most faboosh idea to stick it to IF and take back the day. To transform the feelings of dread to anticipation. And so OMG You Rock Day was born. I just had to participate and give back to the community that helped me work through all those rotten times.

I received the most lovely goodies from Stacie, whose blog I just recently discovered and lurve. I can't believe I've been missing out on her story. I must have been living under a rock. Her gifts were way too awesome not to share for Show & Tell:

The hilarious card, which Nate ripped from my hand and mangled before I even got the chance to open it



The sweet message inside



Opening my box of treats



Aren't the wrapping paper and bows so cute?



The Willow Tree Angel's Embrace ornament. The interpretation reads "Hold close that which we hold dear." PERFECT.



All of my loot, including new reading material



Does this girl rock or WHAT?! Thank you, Stacie, for your generous and thoughful gifts. I love them and will definitely be putting them to good use.

2 comments:

Lori said...

What an online prodigy your son is, ordering you flowers like that!

I came up with Drothers Day a few years ago, for people who would rather be something else. I forgot to bring it up this year.

Stacie did a great job, didn't she!

Liv said...

I am loving the introduction your wrote to the day. I might save your description and use it next year. :o)

Thank you so much for participating, and way to go Stacie! (whom I totally lurve too. One of the most inspirational mammas I've had the pleasure of *meeting*)